Happy 23rd Bacteria – I mean Birthday!

Hey guys,

So remember that one time I posted and said my stomach was ok? And then I immediately felt ill that night? And then I went to this very nice doctor in an african hospital and I got blood tests and I spent the weekend taking anti-malaria pills (cause like just in case) and pain and fever meds. And then it was my birthday and I stayed home sick and I went to school the next day and received a very vague email from the school nurse saying I needed to immediately see her because she had my prescription from the doctor that I needed to start ASAP (like seriously ASAP) without saying “oh hey you have (insert AIDS, hepatitis, HIV, malaria… like anything)” and then I made my way to the nurse with an anxious mind and met my boss on the stairs who said something along the lines of “hey there tropical disease lady!” with a laugh which put my mind at ease that such a disease could be so comical.*

(Insert big breath)

Anyways, I have typhoid fever. So that’s been my day. In one long and mushed sentence. Which is a great representation. Really, it’s been a day. What is typhoid fever? I could give you the low down but I mean, look it up if you want the info. Two major questions I can answer for you:

  1. Basically I am on some dope (yes I just said dope – they are my new BFFs for this week) antibiotics, and hopefully that will clear me of this sneaky little sucker.
  2. It was probably contracted via contaminated food or water.

Now that I have you all grossed out and/or concerned about my wellbeing, I will give you the good news. YOU are awesome. That’s my good news. Dear people in my life, please know that you are magnificent and I love you with every part of me, including the little typhoids currently residing in the walls of my intestine. Yesterday, although spent mostly in bed and high on meds, will forever rest in my memory. You made my birthday incredibly special. I was half alive and lonely at home by myself, but that didn’t matter. So many thoughtful messages and acts of pure kindness warmed my poor little heart to its max. I big shout out to my family for the beautiful african flower bouquet that showed up on my doorstep, and of course to my wonderful roommate for planning and pulling off the greatest surprise birthday bash. Not only did the entire building of teachers march into my apartment with a cake whilst I lay on the couch in pajamas, but the entire building of teachers was brave enough to come into my illness for-saken apartment… and then proceed to please the delirious birthday girl as she went around hugging everyone because she didn’t know how else to show her gratitude. You are brave and I am so sorry I made all of you hug me. Erica – You are amazing and I am still trying to find words big enough to thank you for being so welcoming and thoughtful since we met. I am so happy I am stuck with you for the rest of the year.

In other news, the ants in our apartment are actually going to drive me through the ceiling. I can’t leave anything on the counter without them joining the feast, I can’t sit in the living room chair without feeling the creepy crawlies running across my feet, and now I just feel like they are constantly tickling all over me. Minor daily annoyances.

So to recap I have typhoid fever, my birthday was great, and I hate ants.

All my heart,


*Please return to paragraph one and reread with the voice of the “Dude Where’s my Car” drive-thru lady every time you say “and then”.


2 thoughts on “Happy 23rd Bacteria – I mean Birthday!

  1. Whitney says:

    Wow Chloe! You’ll do anything for page views, won’t you?! But SERIOUSLY HOLY CRAP! That is some crazy poo! I am so glad you had access to reliable medical care and are on the mend. Your birthday wasn’t a total bust because you will have an awesome opening line at parties – “It reminds me of the time I was in Africa and almost died of Typhoid Fever…” Never a dull moment with you, right? I am throwing germ-free hugs and kisses your way. XO Auntie Whitney

    Liked by 1 person

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