I often wonder what the **** I am doing.
A few months ago I had a skill some refer to as “optimism”. Life would happen and I could muster a smile. Good, bad, frustrating, lost, unbelievable… I convinced myself to smile. Soon it was no longer forced; I had become quite the pro. A clear and fresh head space – smiles came easily. This was built after many internal tug-of-wars and “self discoveries”. I had trained myself to see that sliver of light far out of reach (mind tricks really).
Who knew such a physical displacement in this world would revamp the entire psyche.
Stay, leave, wonder, run home –
Africa is now embedded in my heart. I can not and would not trade it for the possibility of never walking into this abyss.
I still wonder what the **** I am doing.
I recognize it – I accept it – I breathe – and smile. It’s your journey. Watch the sun go down tonight before you set your morning alarm. Be Present. Be here with me.
All my heart,