Riding it Out

There is a small spring back in my step and I’m not sure if it’s from the vitamin D this weekend or the fact we are two weeks out from winter break. I’m going to go with a wishy washy woo of the two.

Friday we visited a local primary school as part of the service learning group I lead with three other wonderful teachers from our school. Our program is called the Music and Movement program and we strive to promote the importance of performance arts involving music and dance into local schools.. And stuff.

Our kids made four different stations with dance and games. The kids from the local school moved around to each one smiling and giggling. We then left them with a big drum. This definitely sparked a little something in my heart. Enough to hopefully last me with ease until break.

Saturday was a pool day at the American Embassy. If I haven’t told you anything about that, all you really need to know is that it is basically a little piece of the USA plopped smack down in the middle of Yaounde. It’s a little comforting and a little ridiculous at the same time and I’m loving it because it’s basically the only place I feel safe enough to go alone. Although I haven’t done so yet. Regardless, I soaked up a tan and some good vibes, as well as a little workout in the pool. The internet was out the entire weekend (welcome to Africa) so I forced myself to do some things. Like finish a book.

Then came Sunday. There was an art bazaar at the school all weekend with overpriced vendors and people like me spending too much money. I bought some Christmas gifts and left a big chunk of my monthly allowance behind. Oops.

I know for the most part my reflection of my experience here has been negative. And yes, for the most part it has been and you know that because I was smack down hitting rock bottom and being honest. I want to come home but I also don’t want to come home disappointed. I want to come home knowing I’m moving on and not running away. Leaving now would be running away. It would be taking the easy way out. Actually leaving two months ago would have been running away but.. I still have a little fight in me. I came here with a commitment and I want to see it through with the best I can. I don’t feel at peace with leaving Africa this way and I don’t feel like Africa is ready to let me go. I feel as though I still have more to learn here. Also, I am certain I will never have a desire to return here, making my time here, dare I say, ‘precious’. Thus, I am staying until February. I am headed to Europe with the fam in hopes to find my whole again, and return with a lighter and more peaceful start. I want everyone to know my family and friends have been the most supportive and caring beings (that’s you!) No one is making me stay here or influencing my decision. I made this decision because it’s what I need. I’m not ready to leave this crazy, self-defining, and sometimes plain hell of an adventure. It’s all part of the ride.

All my heart,

Chlo

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2 thoughts on “Riding it Out

  1. Kendra Froehlich says:

    I LOVE YOU! 12 short days until we are exchanging nuggies and all sorts of gross sisterly luuuuv. Your strength and perseverance continues to blow my mind. So proud of you ❤ XO

    Liked by 2 people

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