Dear Two-Thousand and Fifteen,
I forget how exactly it was we met. Ah yes, good ol’ Whitefish, Montana**. You came off as any other year I’ve met, a little tipsy and full of promise, with too much hype for your own good.
I was ambitious for the plans you held for me, ready to pursue the last semester of my undergrad and a new freedom, while still in recovery from heartache. You taught me early how to persist under pressure, move onward with a broken heart, and slow down to enjoy small moments. You later influenced me to guard my heart, forgive but not forget, and stand up for myself (still working on that one). You showed me adventure, patience, and emotional instability. We had times of high bliss and visits from looming infinite black shadows. At times I questioned your intent, unable to even face my own reflection, but rolled along knowing things would come out with a new perspective. You reminded me of the important people in my life and the abundance of love they are capable of. You also introduced me to bright new souls who shaped my love for the ocean and taught me that it’s OK to always love people who no longer have the same presence in our lives, that nothing is set in stone, and to stop being such a people pleaser all the time.
I have grown with you more than I have with the past three years. Every year brings new self revelations, but you were the most personal. I stepped out of my comfort zone (and my home continent) and trusted you. No regrets babe, no regrets ;). Only wiser for it.
I think I have only made one “goals list” in my life, which included very specific things like run 6 times a week, get out of bed earlier than you want to, something about building a future, blah blah. Basically, things I would build towards instead of practice each and every day. You taught me to live more for today, 2015. And thus I present to you all the things I learned from your challenges and defeats, failures and successes, tears and pooping my pants more often than a two year old (#Africaproblems).
Intentions for the next 300 and whatever days:
- Follow your gut and intuitions. What others expect may not align with your own expectations. Do this with grace, awareness, and presence.
- Indulge more in the things that make you feel alive and less in the things that kill your spirit (even when you really don’t want to and the spirit killers are the easier choice – easy won’t get you anywhere).
- Don’t stop finding joy in small, everyday miracles.
- You will fall into darkness. You know it is out of your control. Control what you can, remember the light will return (even if you can’t see it), and seek help outside yourself.
- Do not dwell on something that is not serving you. Never give up during hardship, but know it is OK to move on to better and brighter things.
- Read more books.
- Paint more… things.
- Be aware of the root of your emotions.
- Drink more wine and eat more greens.
- When found judging others, stop, and ask yourself if/how this is helping anyone – Don’t steal or build on negative energy.
- Love without boundaries.
- That thing you are struggling with? It does not and will not define you.
- Spend more time laughing with family and friends.
- Continue practicing french and new ways to communicate and connect. Oui oui.
- Be a minimalist when it comes to possessions.
- Prioritize making others smile/feel loved.
- Be a bad-ss bit-h without the leather.
Some defining moments with 2015*:
*If you are not in these pictures (trust me I tried looking for good ones of all of you!), know that the space in my heart for you is just as big (it really means we have too much fun to be bothered with pictures).
**Ha! Just kidding. Completely forgot I came home for New Years and spent it with the most beautiful ladies. (Thanks for the reminder Spen 😉.)
CHEERS 2015. Nice knowin’ ya.
All my heart,